Unconditional love is always rooted in non-attachment.
Loving another unconditionally means loving them in the complete totality of their being… regardless of how they “show up.”
Loving another, really loving another, is always rooted in self-love. If we yearn for love because we are looking for someone to “fill us up” to reassure us that we are worthy and lovable, we enter into relationships with an ever-present sense of fear. We begin fearing the eventual end of the relationship, because we become dependent on the person to provide us a sense of security of self.
Love is derived from a sense of freedom and wholeness. It is derived from the knowing that each person on this planet has their own journey to embark on, and their own wounds to tend to. It is derived from the knowing that there is no particular way another’s journey needs to unfold- that they are free to experience their journey the way that THEY need to, and that they are never responsible for our happiness. Rather, we are responsible to ourselves- we are to choose what we will tolerate, what we won’t, whether we want to accompany the other on their journey or not.
We hold the power to choose, but so many of us never claim this power. We look to the other person to change their way of being for the sake of our happiness, rather than recognizing that we hold the ability to shape our lives.
Love is rooted in the willingness to take radical responsibility for our own happiness and well-being, and the recognition that it is not the job of the other to make us happy.
The only job that we have on this planet is to evolve into the most authentic expression of our being.
To love another human being then, is to be a champion of their unfolding, without conditions, without expectations, and without timelines.
If discomfort arises, it is our job to claim our voice and name those things which make us uncomfortable, and extend the willingness to really hear the other person, in an open, non-judgmental manner.
Then, we can make a conscious choice. A choice rooted in authentic desire, in a sense of self-worth, and radical responsibility to ourselves.
If we do so, we are loving the other in an unconditional manner, because we recognize that ultimately we are in charge of the life we create for ourselves, that we are never tied or dependent on the other person’s state of being to determine our sense of happiness or fulfillment.
Claim yourself, because you already are enough.